here are some translations to personal ad decriptions... enjoy
40-ish...................... 49
Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................... No tits
Professional................ Certified Bitch
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
Free spirit................. Junkie
Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................... Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener............... Borderline Autistic
New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray
Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
Reubenesque.................... Hugely Fat
Weight proportional w/height..... Grossly Fat
Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.............. Old bat
